I just feel...GOD I feel awful. I really think I've gotten wedged in a terrible tight corner. I'm just not happy. I don't know how to deal with it. I'm really not one for fits of melancholy. I've always been able to work myself out of a bad mood, but I can't do it here. I usually think about all the stuff that gets me excited about the world. Traveling, shopping, seeing family, art, love, talking with friends about anything and everything, baking, my grandma, dogs, finding wonderful restaurants, kids playing, reading in coffee shops, picnics, family, parties with friends that know you, family, etc.. Well, that a lot of stuff, isn't it? Hmmm, what's wrong, then? Usually thinking about all the good things makes me feel better but here it makes me sadder.
I feel like I'm waiting here in Japan, holding my breath, waiting to feel all these things again, to know they're still there.
I just want to know when it's going to be over. When will I stop feeling the doom. I'm a HAPPY PERSON, DAMMIT.
I know nobody wants to read the "depressed journal". But please stick with me. I need you, now. I promise one of these day I'll go back to being flighty and blond.